America's Doctor Dr. Oz

So I usually catch up on Oprah on the weekends, and there was a particular show that Dr. Oz was on and said there were 5 main steps in detecting depression. The 5 steps are

1. Assess energy (hence my staying awake 16-20 hours a day)
2. Weight loss or weight gain (i have done both in the last year)
3. Change in sleep (i have not slept on a specific sleep pattern in a long time, it having gotten worse in the last year)
4. Problems with concentration (it is hard for me to concentrate on poems from alpha to omega and tasks at work)
5. Apathy (i seem to be indifferent about almost everything in my life now)

I pay a $125.00 phone bill a month, and sadly, I talk to the same two or three people. I do not call people back, I do not call often, I am in this slump that will not go away.

My sister is here this weekend, with a friend. While the first night we were all pretty interactive, I shied away from going with her to people watch, didn't want to go with her to even wal mart. I told her I was going to bed, and I got under the covers, knowing full well I was not going to fall asleep. My sleep patterns are so bad I don't have the energy to go do anything, and I know full well I will not actually go to sleep.

My good friend lexi comes into town, I miss her like crazy, and I do not even make accommodations to see her and she is ON memorial drive, passing my house. I really have distanced myself from my activism, from the black women i love, because i am depressed, and it feels indefinite.

I have example after example, excuse after excuse, and I do not know what has triggered the depression as much as I know I am depressed. What do I even do?

I miss the relationships I should have with women, with black women, and I do not know how to rekindle them. I think it is absolutely too late.