wishing i had a way to love myself differently.
why is it that i have a hard time trying to figure out how to live my life? i am not fulfilled because i have come across some disenchanted ways that have emerged at work. i feel blindsighted and not at all involved with this self assessment of who i am. like they have sat together, have had meetings behind my back about me and have decided that i am some type of way, when really i am not. i am bothered by their self-conceptualization of me so therefore i do not trust them, any of them, and it has been difficult for me to open up to my manager in a way that would yield success. i really am over the entire thing, and it makes me think less of who i am, my capabilities and my talents.
like the entire year and a half that i was a temp, i was not given the opportunity to work on these types of concerns; they never brought them to my attention, so i was not able to develop in a way that they needed or were looking for. that is what is most aggravating.
i really believe i am going to be laid off.
