reaching forward

I am terrified of heights, I think I mentioned, and I was flying for the first time in 15 years or so, and this poem is in the context of four movements, when I (1) tookoff from Atlanta (2) landed in Chicago, (3) tookoff from Chicago and lastly (4) landed in Atlanta.

Welcome to my love choreopoem (an acted out piece of poetry)

(1) Love means...this
Alright, here goes nothing. Here goes everything. Your terrified of high roller coasters, love in high trees, scared of high peaks homegirl is sitting next to a picturesque square window proportioning her life through everything she can see through this small space. She is respelling her name brandnew for those who she did not tell yesterday last night and this morning that she is ever grateful for the role you have played in her life. While this may attempt to sound like the end, this is just the beginning, a plea for her ownself to recreate her life as unafraid, capable and possible. From the girl who is afraid to stand on stepstools to reach high kitchen cabinets says love means taking an airplane to all possibilities. Love Always.

(2) Bravery as a verb
Can you believe your girl? She made the tears wait on the way up, plus what were they waiting on the edge for anyway? It's not like I wasn't strapped in safe. When plane leaned to the side from the Windy City's wind she took deep turbulent breaths. She paces back and forth in her seat saying a private loveprayer as she descends (Chicago is beautiful) she tells the lorde (audre lorde, a feminist writer) and crosses her hopes with the chance of (breathe, chile, breathe) hope and is instantaneously borne. Marcus (my brother) always told me once you have wings you can do whatever you want. I will see the world on the near ground.

(3) Flyygirl
Dream chasing and able. Love means I have done it and you have contributed, See you all, and soon.

(4) Grounded
I told the flight attendant I could not see anything out the window and that people did not have their lights on. He said the economy was so bad, people do not leave their porch lights on for airplanes anymore. You see faint light from other airplanes but they do not wave. You then realize how alone you are and that singular, you are capable of taking care of self. This begins to mean that growing oneself up takes time and capability. Descent (okay chile breathe in breathe out repeat) bright lights and NOW take this moment to remember this feeling of hope of truth of bravery, because if this is what it takes to be with ones you love, then give me wings, grow me up and teach me how to fly. Plane leans to the right, gather strength, don't cry (you just asked for wings, what happened?) okay, I'm strong. You did it. Stand up, breathe, mommy, I did it, I'm home.










brown.safe.love.space